Recovery Day 3: My Apology

I haven't heard a beep from Dr. TGIASE since the email I sent to him. No return email, no return phone call.

Today I mostly thought about the happy times we had together. On one hand I really wish we would have worked out because I rarely meet someone who is intelligent, has such good sense of humor, good in bed, has a career, and loves the outside. On the other hand, with our communication styles we would have never worked in the long run.

I still feel terrible about sort of breaking up via email despite the circumstances I was in. I did try to call to make amend but he won't respond. If I ever run into Dr. TGIASE, I feel that I can't even look him in the eyes because of how I broke it off. I decided I want to apologize to him, just for that. This is mainly for my own sake. It's my closure to myself. There may be a secret fantasy that he will respond and give me another chance. But if I know the Dr. TGIASE I know, he's never going to respond.

Since phone calls and emails didn't work, I decided on a text. He can delete my voicemail without listening to them. He can delete my emails without reading them. I know that's what he will do. But maybe a text will at least get him to read the first sentence. I sent him a text to apologize for sending the emails. I should have waited for an opportunity to resolve the problem. I told him I had a wonderful time with him, and wished him luck with school and work.

As expected, no response. Oh well. My part is done.

This song perfectly summarizes my feelings:

But you didn't have to cut me off
Make it like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough
No you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number

I guess that I don't need that though

Now you're just somebody that I used to know

May the universe send me another guy who is intelligent, has a good sense of humor, good in bed, has a career, and loves the outside. On top of that, please make this guy without ADHD and have communication styles that are complement to mine. Oh, most importantly, please make him love me and make me love him.