The 28-year old hussy

Finally Dr. TGIASE is back to San Diego. He sent me an email saying he'd like to keep in touch. I suggested that we met up for coffee because I needed the closure.

I was nervous, but the evening went well. We talked and laughed like old times. At the end of the night he told me he'd like to do this again soon. I told him that I didn't want to be just friends. To me, I want him to be my boyfriend now, or I can take a while to recover and be friends down the road.

He said he couldn't say yes for several reasons.

Reason one, he now thinks that he probably shouldn't be dating anyone right now so he can focus on school.

Reason two, he wants kids, and he doesn't want them before his training is done. He can wait, and there will be some 28-year old hussy he can always marry and knock up.

This is the very first time a man actually rejected me, out loud, for my ticking biological clock. I have always been ambivalent about having kids. My attitude is that if a man wants it, I'll comply, but I don't need to be a mother like many do. It came a a surprise to how much it hurts to realize that I have crossed the line where no matter how awesome I may be, I am an unsuitable partner for many men.

I am at that peculiar age where:

- men of family minds have already partnered up and have families
- men within my age range (+12/-2) who aren't partnered up aren't ready for a while, hence my declining fertility is of huge concern
- men who are ready to have families are too old

It is the closure I needed. I am glad that Dr. TGIASE was honest about it rather than stringing me along and leave me in the future when I can't have kids.

Dating is a hopeless game. I think I am done playing.