Mr. Adventures

Mr. Adventures had been texting me since our first date like we've been dating for a while. Things like "I am at Target" or "This class is so boring". How do I respond to these texts? "Haha"? "Poor you"? Hello, I am NOT your girlfriend, yet.

I used to think that I don't need that instant chemistry to date someone. Now I know I do. I need to feel some "click" on the first date. I felt a very small "click" with Mr. Adventure, but I was just not attracted to him physically. It's strange. I've dated uglier guys, shorter guys, bigger guys. I couldn't quite figure out what is it with Mr. Adventures that I didn't like.

After my dating spree I decided to slow down a bit. It's much easier to spend the night at a climbing gym solving route problems than in a restaurant solving men problems. Most of my nights were occupied with activities so I decided to see Mr. Adventures during the day. Lunch and a movie.

I got to the restaurant first. As I watched Mr. Adventures walk in, I realize what it is that I didn't like about him: he doesn't smile. Like the Halley's comet, it comes around rarely and before you can even positively identify it, it's gone. As he walked in the restaurant all I could think about was that "man what was he pissed off about?" That set the mood. I was nervous the whole time.

Conversation was okay. Mr. Adventures really knows a lot of stuff, and he could fill in all the silence. I like that. But man he just look so pissed off... We went to see "The Debt" - an excellent movie by the way. The whole time I was nervous: what if he puts the moves on? What if he grabs my hand? What if he pulls me over? I made sure the armrest was in place, and set pretty rigidly for two hours.

Now I know what people mean when they say "that smile just makes my day". I am like a mirror. When my date looks cold and pissed off, I feel cold and pissed off. When my date looks cheerful and happy, I feel cheerful and happy.

Mr. Adventures had been pushing for another date. I'd been trying to tell him I'd like to take it slower. I'd also been trying to find a way of telling him that I need him to smile a little more often. Then I thought: what's the point? People don't really change. If I had asked him, he'd be all self-conscious. It comes down to whether or not I can get used to it. Right now the thought of seeing his pissed off face again gives me shudder.

And yes, I realize I've become one of those "picky" women. Here is a sweet, intelligent guy with a good job, and I am about to write him off because he doesn't smile often enough. They say after many years you don't remember the things people did, but you remember how they make you feel at the moment. Mr. Adventures does nice things, but even after a couple dates I can only remember him making me feel nervous (not the good kind), cold, and pissed off.

I am doomed.

What I learned: serial killers.

Third date: I need to recover before I can do that again.