Married Guy

Oh don't worry. He's in an open relationship, and I called and met a woman who is supposedly his wife to verify it. I believe him. Why would he lie about being in an open relationship? He could have just told me he's single. We met on the aforementioned free internet dating site.

I have heard a lot about open relationships from Dan Savage, so I am curious to talk to Married Guy about it. We were going to meet in a week because of my impending huge project, but he was relentless - in a non-creepy way, much different than Mr. Needy - so I agreed to a quick date. We met at a wine bar. I arrived early so I bought myself a glass of wine.

We talked a lot about monogamy, open relationships, sexual adventures or the lack of. It was informative. Since I knew this wasn't going to go anywhere, I was more open to physical contact. It was funny that one of my acquaintances was in the same wine bar with her friends. When she and I were alone she asked me if this was the "open relationship guy" on that free internet dating site. Apparently he gets around and have messaged all women in San Diego...

We moved the date from the wine bar to my apartment. I don't know. I wanted to get some actions on. I figured why wait. It's not like I'd want a second date. The action was safe and fine. He left.

I didn't expect him to ask me out again. Even if he did I wasn't sure if I'd want to. A sex buddy is a bad idea for a woman, so a one-time deal is fine. But I did expect some sort of communication from him. See why a sex buddy would never work? After one night the woman is already attached enough to want to hear from the guy again, even though she knew there's no future.

When four days went by and no communication from him, I wrote him a nice and quick message. In essence I told him that I expected some sort of communication from him. That's just good manner. But I understand what it meant with no communication. The message was more for my own sake. It was my "closure". Again, another reason to not have a sex buddy. I needed "closure" after one night... Also, I promised that I wouldn't let guys get away with this kind of crap anymore. At least I called him out on it.

He sent back a nice enough message apologizing and explaining why he didn't want to meet me again. Cordial.

Now that I think about it, there would be a reason why he would say he's in an open relationship than to say he's single. First it attracts a certain type of women, maybe the type who want to have some actions but no consequences. Secondly it disarms women. I would never sleep with a guy on a first date unless I knew for sure there's no future. By not presenting a future option, Married Guy can rope in many sex on first dates. Either way, I am not hurting his family so I can sleep at night. I got what I wanted; he got what he wanted. It was almost a win-win situation.

What I learned: you can use Groupons for its face value after it expires.

No more communication.